Lake America?

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I just saw that Donald Trump has signed an executive order to rename Lake Ontario to Lake America in all official documents and records.

This is similar to what he did regarding the Gulf of Mexico, naming it the Gulf of America. (I've just verified this on Google Maps. His choice for the name has stuck.)

I'm now wondering when Trump will start calling the Atlantic Ocean the American Ocean. 

I'm opposed to these measures, but for a different reason than most people might have.

Yes, I think it is foolish to rename these bodies of water in what can only be called a petty and  embarrassing act of national self-promotion. But I want to express a deeper concern than a political one.

My concern is epistemic, and my point can be illustrated by imagining the result if this pattern continues.

What if the United States started renaming all the waters surrounding it as some variant of "America"? 

If that happened, then the name of any given body of water would give no young American or anybody else any idea of where the water is relative to the United States. 

Why was the Gulf of Mexico called what it was called? It was named for the people who lived near it at the time: the Mexica.

Why is Lake Ontario called what it is called? It was named by the people who lived near it at the time: the Iroquois.

No, I'm not going to express some romantic intention toward preserving the heritage of indigenous peoples. That is not my point. 

My point is that the old names give present-day Americans a simple and meaningful frame of reference for locating these bodies of water. Where is the Gulf of Mexico? It's near Mexico. Where is Lake Ontario? It's near Ontario, Canada (which was named after the lake).

Let's say, though, just for the sake of argument, that we wanted new, U.S.-centric names for these bodies of water. Could we do better than just slapping the word "America" on them? 

Certainly. Absolutely. 

In fact, the Gulf of Mexico was once called the Gulf of Florida. Since Florida is part of the United States, that would be a perfect new name, because Florida is near the Gulf! 

Regarding Lake Ontario, we could follow the lead of Lake Erie and Lake Michigan. We could call it Lake Rochester, or even Lake New York. By comparison, "Lake America" is deeply stupid, as there's no more reason to call Lake Ontario "Lake America" than to call any of the other Great Lakes the same thing.

But Donald Trump doesn't care about making sense. He just cares about showing his ass to Canada by using the word "America".

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